Handle Work Drama with Less Stress

Dealing with troublesome coworkers or a difficult boss is tough.  Let me give you 8 suggestions you can put to good use right now to disarm a bully.

1.  Be prepared- ensure the your communication,EQ and negotiation skills are up to date. This means you’ll have the mindset and skills to get a positive outcome. 

2.  Listen- Listening well is an art and skill. Listen to what’s said and also what isn’t expressed. Think about why the speaker chose certain words or arguments. Focusing on listening means you’ll understand what the speaker is relying to say instead of simply reacting. 

3.  Explore yourself- you’re human. There are core beliefs you hold about yourself that when threatened will make you want to fight. Know the top 5 so you can prevent yourself from becoming unnecessarily angry. 

4.  Be curious- what else might be happening behind the scenes that’s fueling this difficult situation. Be sure to ask about meaning and intentions. 

5.  Use the two and through technique- the two & through technique helps you focus on the 2 messages you want to convey and ends unproductive arguments.1. State your position. 2. Clarify if needed. Then suggest scheduling another meeting after emotions have cooled down. 

6.  Set boundaries for yourself. Boundaries convey to the other person (and you) what you need to continue a conversation. For instance, if the other person is yelling or name calling, you can set a boundary.

“ I won’t continue to talk when yelling is involved. I’d like to talk through this now if there’s no yelling. If not,we can schedule a meeting after we all have calmed down. “

7.  Document the specifics- take a moment to recap the conversation in an email and ask if the other person agrees with your summary. Doing this clarifies what was said, gives the other person a chance to correct and creates a paper trail. Email them and bcc your home email. 

8.  Forgive but don’t forget- Let go of any negative feelings and forgive the person for their behavior. That frees up your emotional bandwidth. But don’t forget. When people consistently show you through their words, actions or attitudes that they aren’t on your team,believe them. Don’t give that person any more access to you than the actual need. 

As much as you might want to move on quickly, take a minute to debrief what happened and why. That information about you, the other person, the topic or situation is helpful data you can use in the future. Understanding that your office rival will criticize your ideas in team meetings allows you to prepare for that as well as find new ways to share your ideas with the team. 

Want to learn more about dealing with office drama? You're welcome to book a PowerSpeak Session